Lessons in waiting seem to be common in my life and the lives of most people I know. There are times when I feel the wait is unbearable. There are times when I see the wait to be a way for the Lord to strengthen my faith.
When I was in college, my best friend and I would sit on her bed and contemplate the deep and meaningful things in life- When in the heck would God hook us up with husbands?
She marveled at my faith, though I was already in my mid-20's and had never had a serious boyfriend, I was confident that the Lord had already set a godly man aside for me. I just believed it, I didn't doubt it. And so I waited, patiently for the one that God had for me.
When he found me (rather, when my very good friend of several years, Caleb, realized that I was the one for him), there was very little waiting. We dated for 5 months, 2 of which I was in Russia. We were engaged for 5 months, and then we made a lifelong covenant before the Lord, to be husband and wife. So I waited 25 long years for that boyfriend (really only 20 years because I didn't become totally boy-crazy until I met Matt H. over the oatmeal bucket in Kindergarten), and then once that boyfriend came, I waited less than a year to get married.
Shortly after Caleb and I "pulled the goalie*" we discovered why Catholics have so many children- NFP. A month after we began NFP, I came home from work and ate 6 bean and cheese chalupas. I puked the next morning and the plus sign indicated that our little Avery would be a short wait away from our arms. So really, in terms of childbearing, I have really had to do very little waiting. Some may argue, that because we have had four children in our seven years of marriage, we have done too little waiting.
But now we are waiting. Waiting four months, without income, for Caleb's first commission checks to come in. Waiting for the market to rebound so we can sell our house in Colorado and move into our own place. Waiting to open the Barbies that Avery picked out 6 days ago for her birthday. Waiting to get conclusive results about Reece's possible metabolic disorder.
I got a call from the phlebotomist today and she apologized for running the wrong test on my daughter. She asked if I could come back in so they could draw another sample and then send it off. She explained that we may have to wait four weeks for the results.
Waiting. And setting my alarm clock for midnight and 4am to wake my babe and feed her.
Sometimes waiting seems impossible. Sometimes it causes knots in your stomach and sleepless nights. I think of my friends that have waited tirelessly to conceive a child. I think of friends who wait anxiously for a loved one to return home from war.
When waiting seems impossible, there is great hope in the word of God.
"Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:31.
Lemme tell ya why I love this verse. Take a look at what we are waiting for. Go ahead, take a good look.
Are we waiting for childbearing? Are we waiting for income? Are we waiting for lab results? Are we waiting for a loved one's safe return? Are we waiting for Barbie Repunzel?
No. We are waiting for the Lord. And look at the glorious thing. Those who wait on the Lord will gain new strength. This is a promise. This is God's Word. This is truth. We may never conceive, we may never get a dime, or a Barbie Repunzel. But we will be given the strength to deal with the 12 am and 4 am feedings.
Now I love that we will mount up with wings like eagles, because that sounds strong- but if you know me at all, you know that I am not a huge fan of birds, so I could do without this analogy.
But I love the part, "run and not get tired," because, truly, I am sooooo not into running. One block and I am sucking wind. Anything that pertains to me being super energetic and not tired, or not weary, because I have waited for the Lord- I am interested in.
So we are waiting.